Something To Remember (Jonathan)

Many have asked my opinion on long distance relationships and if it’s something one should pursue. Here’s my two cents…it’s very romantic and all, but this ain’t the renaissance. Unless someone moves to be closer to the other, I suggest cutting it short and count your losses before you get hurt.

Case and point, I got into a pseudo dating relation with a guy who was part Adonis, part Incredible Hulk. He was beautiful, and he knew he was beautiful, and I knew he was beautiful. He was very charming, very down to earth, and the manliest guy I know at the time. He was also very ill tempered, quick to bark, and was downright mean when he wants to be. A serious hindrance to why he would often go on a tirade is because we only communicated through e-mails and IMs. Yes, it was long distance, him stationed in Korea, me in Maryland. I tell you that there are not enough emoticons in the world that would convey the mood of words being typed out when you're trying to reason. There were miscommunications and plenty heaping of misunderstandings.

It wasn’t all bad. There were plenty of times when he made me feel very much needed and loved, but then there were plenty of times when I was left out for days without a word from him because of an argument (which I can tell you now was usually rooted from a misunderstanding). I cared about him so much that I couldn't just let him go, and it broke me to pieces when he shut me out. There was very little I could do, he was too far away, and perhaps he always was going to be.

I found out that he also had a bevy of admirers lined up, not just me, and even then I was stupid enough to still fight to have him for myself. Talk about pouring salt on the wound myself. I remember falling out of love when he went on another tirade and decided to freeze me out. This time however, I realized I was not only trying to build a relationship on a poor medium that doesn’t allow me to reach him, but that I was staying for the abuse as well. The bad definitely outweighed the good, so I summoned whatever self esteem I had left, and gave up.

You can’t build a relationship when one is absent part of the time. You’ll drive yourself crazy from worrying when you don’t hear from them. Your mind will play mean tricks on you and fill your head with doubt. You’ll want more than just words when you need encouragement. A text message doesn’t equate to the feeling of someone’s loving embrace.

Love will never survive this way.