Something to Remember (Peter)

We met by accident at a club. It's one of those "almost perfect story of how we met" kind of situation, where I accidentally looked to my left while smiling and he just happen to be at the receiving end of it. I gave him my number on a matchbook case, and it all just went from there.

Casual dating, is what we originally agreed on. No one was in a rush, and it seemed the most logical way to get to know each other without the pressures of a real relationship. The problem is that one tends to get carried away by the sensation, and thus gets too involved.

I was in a point in my adult life where I was ready to commit to a healthy relationship. He however, just needed to commit to a healthier lifestyle. He had family issues he had been dealing with, a new job that makes him nervous, and now to add to that, a guy who's enamored with him to which he couldn't devote anything more than just something casual.

You try to agree and you hold back your feelings as much as you can, but when someone is so wonderful, so handsome, and so comfortable to be around with, there's not much you can do but to fall. After a while you get the feeling that one is being shorthanded, and thus both would have to make a decision about the situation. One would declare his feelings of wanting to belong and needing more, of deserving more, the other is then forced to rebuff.

"I love you, but I'm not 'in-love' with you."

I've been in these situations when an end is inevitable, and damnit, I'm going to be strong this time. Brush it off, tell him it's ok. You're fine and if this is how it has to be then so be it. Make sure to ask if this is what he really wants. He agrees. It's harder to breathe now. Let's say goodbye and make our exit. Losing your composure now would only let him in on how you really feel. You can just do your crying in the car.

Love is a two way street. You can't get yourself involved in a relationship when it's clear that the two of you have different wants. Regardless of the outcome of a casual dating situation, you should be understanding of each other's situation, and with mutual respect, you can come to a resolution which may not always be a happy ending, but at least an amicable parting.